Sunday, November 27, 2016

Unforgiveness : Your Silent Killer

“Forgive—only then will your heavenly Father…wipe your slate clean.” Mark 11:25 The Message Bible


How heavy is a glass of water? Well, that Depends On How Long You Carry It! A minute is no problem, and after an hour your arm might ache. But after 24 hours you’ll probably be in pretty bad shape! In each instance the glass Weighs Exactly the Same, but the Longer You Carry It the Heavier It Feels! And it’s the Same With Un-Forgiveness; it can get So Heavy that it Causes You Physical Pain! People will hurt you; that’s the reality of sharing this planet with others. Sometimes it’s intentional, other times they have no idea they even upset you, far less broke your heart. Does that mean you should go around pretending nothing’s wrong? No, the first step is to confront your feelings. And be honest, especially when the hurt is deep, because it’s even harder to forgive. That’s why you have to remember Jesus said, “Pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:28 New International Version) When you do that something unexpected happens; Your Heart Softens and You Start Seeing Them Through God’s Eyes Instead of Your Raw Emotions! “If you have anything against someone, forgive—ONLY THEN will your heavenly Father…wipe your slate clean.” Warning: When You Sow Un-Forgiveness You Reap Un-Forgiveness—Even From God!

Now Isaac Is a Prime Example of Practicing Forgiveness! During a drought he dug wells that his enemies moved in and claimed. But Instead of Retaliating, He Moved On and Dug New Ones! As a result God Filled Isaac’s Empty Wells and Promised to Bless Him, and His Children Too! (Genesis. 26:22-23). Likewise, when you determine Not to Retaliate, He’ll determine to Restore! He’ll Fill the Emptiness in Your Life, When You Forgive Those Who Have Hurt You and like Isaac, Keep Moving Forward!

Listen: I don’t speak this to you out of textbook theology, but out of Life Experience. I have had my fair share of Judases in my life. I have been lied upon by people I loved, people I took as family, shared the same cup and sometimes roof with, I have been betrayed by people I raised, trained, people I called friends. By no means do I seek to minimize anyone’s hurt or pain. But I Know First Hand What it’s Like to Carry a Dead Man and His Deeds Year In and Year Out! Like a glass of water, it didn’t seem all that heavy to begin with…But as the Years Went On, and I Never Unloaded My Burden, it Became Heavier and Heavier. “…heartache crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:13 New International Version). “…gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.” (Proverbs 17:22 The Message Bible). As true as those scriptures are, when I begin to minister about the freedom of forgiveness, it is then that my shackles begin to loosen and fall off and revival floods my soul. I share this testimony with you because far too many, Christians, are sitting in the Sanctuary Suffering In Silence over things that happened when they were Six or Sixteen and now at Sixty, They Still Have Not Let It Go! We Cannot Preach a Liberating Gospel While Bound By Un-Forgiveness Ourselves! Understand: Somebody, Somewhere Needs a “WHOLE” YOU to Minister to Their “Broken Fragments.”

The next time un-forgiveness rears its ugly head, remember these few Scriptures:

“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You Can’t Get Forgiveness From God, for instance, Without Also Forgiving Others. If You Refuse to Do Your Part, You Cut Yourself Off From God’s Part.” (Matthew 6:14 The Message Bible).

“Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, Forgive Him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ Forgive Him.” (Luke 17:3 The Message Bible).

“Now, regarding the one who started all this—the person in question who caused all this pain—…What the majority of you agreed to as punishment is punishment enough. Now Is the Time to Forgive This Man and Help Him Back On His Feet. If All You Do Is Pour On the Guilt, You Could Very Well Drown Him In It. My Counsel Now Is to Pour On the Love.” (2 Corinthians 2:5 The Message Bible).

“…If someone falls into sin, Forgivingly Restore Him, Saving Your Critical Comments For Yourself. You Might Be Needing Forgiveness Before the Day’s Out. Stoop Down and Reach Out to Those Who Are Oppressed. Share Their Burdens, and So Complete Christ’s Law. If You Think You Are Too Good For That, You Are Badly Deceived.” (Galatians 6:1-3 The Message Bible).

“Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive One Another as Quickly and Thoroughly as God In Christ Forgave You.” (Ephesians 4:31 The Message Bible).

If You Don’t Sow Forgiveness, You Don’t Reap Forgiveness! Let It Go Today, For Real and For Good!

Never forget, You are in the Refiner's Hands !!

I Love You
Jay Ikwan , Snr.

My life assignment is to help you become a person of class in Competence, Character & full of God;s divine presence. Teaching you all that concerns life and godliness. This I do, through the ministry "The Refiner's House International". Your Donations, Love Gifts & Partnership helps me take the gospel to different nations of the world, maintain websites, create media materials like the one you just read as I heal the sick, deliver the captives & bring salvation in the name of Jesus Christ. 

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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

What To Do, When It Just Isn't Happening For You ! ⚔️

Feel Free to Join Us for Service on Sundays by 11am @ The Refiner's House International  - Southampton City Church: Venue: Coxford Community Centre  Olive Rd, Southampton SO16 6AG. Where we are raising men and women of Class in Disposition, Prowess and Divine Presence. Teaching you all that concerns life and godliness. Service begins on the 26th of June 2016.

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Saturday, September 3, 2016

Music: Jay Ikwan - Breaking Free [Official Video]

We're finally here, thank you for being patient. I hope you enjoy the music and break free in your area, that's all I've ever wanted. Enjoy and remember. It is more than music ! Thank you again.
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Enjoy !

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Dealing With Bitterness and Unresolved Emotional Wounds


No one wants to be bitter.  It sneaks up on us.  Bitterness is unforgiveness fermented.    The more we hold onto past hurts the more we become drunk on our pain and the experience can rob us of the joy we can find in anything. Bitterness occurs when we feel someone has taken something from us that we are powerless to get back.  We hold on to the hurt in an attempt to remind ourselves and others of the injustice we’ve experienced in the hopes that someone will save us and restore what we’ve lost.  Unfortunately, bitterness only makes our sense of the injustice grow.  It does nothing to heal the wound caused by the injustice.  In fact, it causes the wound to become infected with anger.

Bitterness:  Wrath’s Little Sister

Bitterness is wrath’s little sister.  Where anger can be just and moral if it propels us to seek solutions for the wrongs we have experienced or witness, wrath is a deadly sin because it becomes anger that feeds on itself and adds to wreckage caused by the original wound.  Bitterness does this too, but instead of burning down the house with everything we value still inside, bitterness is quieter, slowly poisoning our life until we lose it one joy at a time.

Here are some things you can do to begin to overcome bitterness.

1.  Forgive

Forgiveness does not mean pretending everything is “OK.”  It doesn’t mean forgetting the hurt either.  According to St. Augustine, forgiveness is simply the act of surrendering our desire for revenge; that is, our desire to hurt someone for having hurt us.   Forgiveness is the gift we give ourselves that enables us to stop picking at the scab and start making a plan for healing.

2. Make a plan

Forgiveness allows you to free up the energy you need to begin healing the wound. If the person who hurt you is willing to work with you, begin mapping out exactly what changes or effort you would need to see from that person to let you know that it is safe to reconcile.  If you are on your own, focus your energy on making a plan for how will you strive to regain as much of what was lost/taken from you as possible.  The more you strive to find alternative ways to recoup your losses, the less bitter you will feel even if the hurt persists.   It can be tempting to give into feelings that “there’s nothing I can do”   but resist the temptation.  In fact, if you feel this way and can’t think of solutions, talk to a professional to check your math before deciding that you just need to grieve your loss.  If, after consultation, you find that there really is nothing you can do to reclaim what was lost or taken from you, focus your energy on developing new goals that will help you reconstruct a compelling future.  The book, The Life God Wants You to Have:  Discovering the Divine Plan When Human Plans Fail can be a tremendous help for figuring out what God is calling you to work toward in the next chapter of your life.

3.  Stop Dwelling and Retelling

When we are hurt, we have a tendency to turn the painful events over and over in our head or tell anyone who will listen about our pain–even over and over again.  It is fine to talk to people we think can help us heal the hurt, facilitate reconciliation or help us rebuild our lives, but other than that, we should do what we can to stop dwelling on the story of our injury ourselves and stop speaking of it so freely to others.  When we are tempted to “dwell or retell” the best course of action is to refocus on what we can do–TODAY–to take at least some small step toward refining or actualizing the plan we’ve developed in Step 2.  The more you are focused on solutions, the less you will experience the sense of powerlessness that comes from ruminating on the hurt

4.  Seek Grace

It can be next to impossible to heal some wounds without God’s grace.  Bitterness causes us to shun God’s grace in favor of obsessing over the wound.  If you are holding on to bitterness I encourage you to take it to confession.  Please don’t be insulted by the suggestion.  I know that you are the victim and you have a right to your pain.  Still, holding on to anything except God’s love, mercy and healing grace separates from God and the life he wants us to have. Confession can open your heart to receive the healing that God wants to give you.   It can help you surrender the pain and powerlessness and begin to discover new options.  Stop hoarding your hurt.  Make your desire for healing official by taking your tendency to dwell in the powerlessness to the confessional and seek the grace to leave it there.

5.  When All Has Failed, Then Seek Professional Help

If the bitterness won’t let go even after you’ve tried all of the above, it’s time to seek professional help.  Working with a professional can help you see possibilities that your pain has blinded you to and give you new tools to heal the wounds that are holding you back.   If you have a faithful professional in your area that you have worked with before, it may be time to reconnect.  If not, I would invite you to contact me through the The Classic Life Institute to learn more about this. Trust me when I say I have been there and I know what it feels like.  Healing is possible with the right resources.

Hebrews 12:5 says, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”  You don’t have to be bitter or consumed by feelings of powerlessness and sadness.  Take action today to cooperate with the grace that God is giving you to break free of the bonds of bitterness.  You can discover that with God’s help, there is so much more to life than pain.

Never Forget, You are in the Refiner's Hands !!

I Love You

Feel Free to Join Us for Service on Sundays by 11am @ The Refiner's House International Church - Southampton City Centre: Venue: Coxford Community Centre  Olive Rd, Southampton SO16 6AG. Where we are raising men and women of Class in Disposition, Prowess and Divine Presence. Teaching you all that concerns life and godliness. Service begins on the 26th of June 2016.

Also, Follow Us On Twitter @TRHICsoton and @JayIkwan; or LIKE Us On Facebook at:

Enjoy the Day, the Message, and Most Importantly, Your Life!

As Always, Share With Others, and Share Your Feedback!